2.5 seconds

That's about how long I spent having a "poor me" moment last night. I'm getting good at getting over things. Today, I'm going to Portland to go to a special needs conference called All Born In. Last night I was starting to get my things packed up for my little road trip & I started having one of those "if things were only different" moments. A very selfish moment, I will admit. Because my thought behind it was...If Jake were typical, I would be going to Portland to go shopping with my friends, not to sit thru 8 hours of special needs topics. And as quick as that thought came into my head, it went right back out. I do have to thank Tara & Carrie for that. Tara is one of my life long BFF's. She has always been my "go getter" friend. My friend that kept me on the straight and narrow in our early years, that has ALWAYS been there for me, and always will be. She lives in western Washington, is super successful in her professional life, as well as in her family life. She is a very well balanced person, which is why I love that I have her in my life. She is meeting me in Portland tonight after she gets off work, for a little shopping, dinner, & drinks. A very mini girls weekend. But much needed for both of us! My Carrie...oh my Carrie. I couldn't be more lucky to have Carrie in my life. Everyone should have a Carrie. I honestly don't know that (outside of my immediate family) there is a bigger "Jakey fan" than Carrie. She loves her some Jakey. Carrie and I have become friends over the last few years. She's a newer BFF,that will never be anything less. She gives her all in everything, & everyone. She loves & believes like nobody I've ever met. Carrie is making the trek to Portland with me today, & is also going to the conference. The reason I'm bragging about these two...they made me realize that things don't need to be different. I'm still going to Portland for a girls weekend. With 2 of my besties. Perfect. And the conference, I wouldn't be going to the conference if Jake were typical. Which is really kind of sad, because I have a feeling I am going to learn so much. So much more than typical Jane with her typical kids. So I guess I need to thank Jake as well. I would brag about him like I did my girls, but I do that on a daily basis!

When I started this blog, I needed a place to try and sort out my feelings. I learned early on in Jake's life that writing was my way of sorting things out. Blogging brought a whole new world into my life. A whole new circle of people that have helped me, & I in turn have been able to help. It's very rare that I have feelings that I need to sort out anymore, because life has become very typical for me. I feel very comfortable in Holland now. Holland is home. Finally.

So, off I go with 2 of my besties for a day of girl talk, shopping, dinner, martini's, and a good night sleep without the 4am wake up call (sorry Zach...he's all yours tonight). And tomorrow, I'm going to learn to be a better wife/parent to my family with special needs.

Oh, for those who don't get the Holland comment...google Welcome to Holland.